Following JJ's successful arrival E and I were in wonder of our little guy. We had made him. E had provided everything he needed for 9 months of growth and development. Biology is just astounding! He is half of each of us yet his own person. Can't wait to see how he turns out...
One thing I did feel a little odd about was cutting the cord though. For some reason everyone was very keen for me to cut the physical link between Mum and Baby. Not sure what kind of message that sends... (and by the way it is a lot like cutting through overdone calamari)
Following some routine monitoring and a visit from his elated Canadian Grandparents, E and JJ were transferred to the ward. The nursing staff were quick to give JJ the once over and change his first diaper. I was very proud of how full it was! At this point both of us were very relieved that the delivery was over but also very nervous for what was to come. We were going to have to look after this baby. Fortunately E was staying overnight to rest and JJ would be in the capable hands of his Mom and the nursing staff. We also couldn't get over how much hair he had (and how cute it looked stuck to his head). There was also more crying.
I now had a tough choice to make: Stay over and sleep in a chair (we were in a semi-private room so no sofa bed for me) or go home. We umm'd and ahh'd but eventually both decided that it was best for me to go home and rest. There was no point in me being exhausted and having E and JJ to take home and care for the following day. Leaving was incredibly hard, there were more tears (I should have been out of them by this point). So 28 hours after E went into labour I headed home. It felt good to drive, I've always liked driving and find it relaxing. I don't think I could have been more relaxed at this point. We (well , E mostly) had done it! A happy and healthy son. During that drive I got to look out over a frozen moonlit Lake Ontario and know I was now a Dad, I had a son. That acceptance felt amazing and what surprised me was that I felt calm and ready, like being a Dad was what I was made to do. I think I'd been preventing myself from thinking about JJ too much, just in case. I didn't even call him by name until he was actually born despite E and I deciding on a name months before.
A sound 6 hours of sleep (when will that happen again?) set me up for our little Homecoming. A quick update for the Grandparents and then off to see my wife and son (with a stop at Starbucks to get E the coffee she really wanted). It was amazing to see them again, both looked fantastic, E had rested, she looked beautiful in a whole new way. JJ was in his Grandpa's arms (not sure who looked more comfortable) and was soon in mine. I can't explain the feeling of holding him, even though he was fast asleep and completely oblivious. What will it be like when he is alert, recognises us and has a character all his own?
More checks and JJ's first bath followed (he is not a fan of water or being naked just yet). E and I got to catch up while we waited to be discharged. I really have a new level of love and respect for my wife (and no I'm not sucking up to her in case she reads this). The pregnancy and labour have made us even closer and stronger - something we will need to get through the next few weeks I'm sure. We also have a whole new love for our son. It's different from the love we have for each other, it is somewhere else in our hearts but pulls just as strongly.
Finally we were good to go, we passed the car seat test, packed up our things (we probably looked like weary hitchhikers with a newborn as we left KGH) and set off for home. JJ was totally out in the car despite Kingston's awful roads. Then a moment I had been waiting for: we got to pull into the driveway of our new house (the one we designed to raise our family in) with our new son.
Our little family was Home.
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