JJ continues to grow fast, he's now 62 cm tall and 12 lbs 5 oz! That has people who meet him pegging his age at 2 or 3 months not 6 weeks! Oddly enough, he seems to be a regular sized 6 week old baby on the bottom half and a 3-6 month old baby on the top half...
Our follow up with the Midwives is now complete and Jack will now be cared for under our Family Doctor (we are lucky to have a great one, in fact we are lucky to have a Family doctor at all in Kingston). All of the staff at Community Midwives were fantastic. We got to know 4 midwives in total and each had something that we really liked. We will definitely be going back when JJ's little brother or sister comes along. We appreciated their "informed choice" approach. They had no problem that we wanted a hospital birth from day one and we were not interested hollistic, homeopathic stuff.
All the books we've read always mention things get better at 6 weeks. Well, JJ seems to have read that too. He is sleeping great (only 1 feed during the night), growing, happy, smiling and cooing. He has taken straight to his Aunt and Uncle and does well when we take him places. He did have a bit of a shell shocked look on his face after we brought him to a restaurant last night (it was possibly a bit much for him) but it didn't throw him off his routine.
Now the only issue we have is getting him to do well with a bottle so we can share feeding duties. He was doing great but now he gets fussy and upset part way through. As this is one of my roles as Dad I'm keen to make it easy for both of us. Bath time is going great, settling him down for bed goes well too. It's just the 1 am feed that causes (me and JJ I imagine) stress. Maybe we'll change the time, maybe we'll change the bottle. I know this will get resolved and JJ and I will get the hang of it but it is difficult.
I'm realising a few things as a new Dad. First, I'd never planned or got myself ready for looking after such a young baby. I'd focused on the toddler stage and with very little experience of newborns, I felt completely useless. Nothing came naturally really. I focused on getting things done to help E but the best help would have been getting more involved with JJ earlier on. Second, once I returned to work I was now spending much less time around JJ and my chances to gain experience were fewer and further between. Again, I defaulted to getting things done, reasoning that this was a positive contribution to our family but really it meant my bond with JJ was getting thinner.
The solution: re-prioritise, not be so "cool-Dad" and spend quality time with JJ. As I mentioned above, bath time is now Daddy time. So is putting him to bed at night and play time when I get home from work. I can see the results already. It is very heart-warming to know he looks around for me when he hears my voice after I've been gone for a while and I'm much happier now I know how to make him smile (basically give in to baby-talk and general sillyness, something I was reluctant to do).
It would be great to have some more family leave at this stage. For now, I'll settle for a long weekend with our little family and his Auntie and Uncle. This weekend we're off to see how Maple Syrup is made. It'll be our first day out and fingers crossed JJ does well...
Friday, March 25, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Like a hibernating bear...
We're five weeks into our adventures with JJ and I'm kind of amused by some of our behaviour...
Whenever we put JJ down to sleep we tiptoe away so we don't startle him or wake him up. Its as if we've just lulled a large, dangerous, and hungry bear to go back into hibernation. There is usually some sort of hand signal directed at the other person, a thumbs up, a not so sure he'll probably wake up as soon as I get in bed gesture or maybe just a relieved sigh and rub of bleary eyes. We're usually holding our breath too. In the evening, lights are turned down low or off, the TV is barely audible. I try and make as little sound as possible getting ready for work in the morning.
The silly thing is he can sleep through the excavation of two lots behind our house (including dumping of rock into a truck) and doze off while we navigate potholed Kingston roads. Mind you, he can tell when we are at a stop light or going slowly (or he already has road rage...).
Of course, when he goes down first time and sleeps deeply for 4 hours you feel like the champion baby-whisperer, able to sooth and calm him in any situation. Then there are the times when he just cries and cries. Then cries a little more. Then he goes quiet, then he cries more. I'm sure he once just passed out from crying and fell right to sleep in my arms. Or I inadvertently found a puts-baby-to-sleep pressure point...
We are making good progress. Things are generally "better". We are both finding him more and more entertaining and interesting (and yes, even more lovable). JJ is getting used to me feeding him at night with a bottle (his early attempts resembled a person with bronchitis entering a milk chugging contest) and I'm enjoying that time much more. He is more alert, can see further and hold his attention on random objects. And is he ever getting big and strong! We've already filled a good size box of really cute clothes that he has outgrown.
I'm sure he is starting to smile at us not just when he is pleased with his latest attempt to pass wind. We've even had a couple of quiet bath times. My new favourite thing to do is give him a mohawk while drying his hair, it stays in for hours. It will be time for a haircut soon though, he's straying into redneck mullet territory. Perhaps we can find him a baby-sized trucker cap and convert his crib into a trailer...
Looking forward to JJ meeting more of his family this week and having a proud uncle and aunt-equivalent to share caring duties with!
Whenever we put JJ down to sleep we tiptoe away so we don't startle him or wake him up. Its as if we've just lulled a large, dangerous, and hungry bear to go back into hibernation. There is usually some sort of hand signal directed at the other person, a thumbs up, a not so sure he'll probably wake up as soon as I get in bed gesture or maybe just a relieved sigh and rub of bleary eyes. We're usually holding our breath too. In the evening, lights are turned down low or off, the TV is barely audible. I try and make as little sound as possible getting ready for work in the morning.
The silly thing is he can sleep through the excavation of two lots behind our house (including dumping of rock into a truck) and doze off while we navigate potholed Kingston roads. Mind you, he can tell when we are at a stop light or going slowly (or he already has road rage...).
Of course, when he goes down first time and sleeps deeply for 4 hours you feel like the champion baby-whisperer, able to sooth and calm him in any situation. Then there are the times when he just cries and cries. Then cries a little more. Then he goes quiet, then he cries more. I'm sure he once just passed out from crying and fell right to sleep in my arms. Or I inadvertently found a puts-baby-to-sleep pressure point...
We are making good progress. Things are generally "better". We are both finding him more and more entertaining and interesting (and yes, even more lovable). JJ is getting used to me feeding him at night with a bottle (his early attempts resembled a person with bronchitis entering a milk chugging contest) and I'm enjoying that time much more. He is more alert, can see further and hold his attention on random objects. And is he ever getting big and strong! We've already filled a good size box of really cute clothes that he has outgrown.
I'm sure he is starting to smile at us not just when he is pleased with his latest attempt to pass wind. We've even had a couple of quiet bath times. My new favourite thing to do is give him a mohawk while drying his hair, it stays in for hours. It will be time for a haircut soon though, he's straying into redneck mullet territory. Perhaps we can find him a baby-sized trucker cap and convert his crib into a trailer...
Looking forward to JJ meeting more of his family this week and having a proud uncle and aunt-equivalent to share caring duties with!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
TMI?
I've been thinking that there may be too much information out there in the world-wide-intra-web-net...
As a result of a tricky growth spurt phase, E and I have been making use of a number of resources related to newborns. We are very fortunate to have our caregivers following up for 6 weeks postpartum, access to a Public Health Breast Feeding Buddy and their Babytalk line, friends who have recently had kids and of course Family. We're also reading various books and websites. Trouble is, sometimes (well a lot of the time) I've been getting confused from one source to the next. What is normal, what to expect (it seems the unexpected is what you should expect), what we "should" be doing...
As a scientist at heart I'm trying to get to the bottom of this newborn raising lark. I'm starting to realise that that won't happen. There isn't a set answer or way of doing things. We can go by our instincts or by what a book says but there is nothing like talking to someone and hearing that everything is fine and normal. So far we've realised that we are falling into a few "Accidental Parenting" traps (as one book labels them) and it is best to deal with these earlier rather than later.
For example, we needed a few closet door handles to match what we already have (I've mentioned we're kind of perfectionists haven't I?). The nearest place that stocked them was 45 mins away so off we went with JJ in tow one Saturday afternoon. He let us know by the time we got home that he didn't really care if the handles on his closet matched the ones in the rest of the house!
We're trying out a few things and seem to be getting results. We like the approach a particular book uses, its logical to us and sets up some basics that we can use daily - wash, rinse and repeat if you will. It is appealing to the science/critical thinking side of our nature and we'll see how we go.
Of course at 3am when JJ won't settle after a long feed and I can't remember what I should be doing and where I read it I get a bit frustrated. Too much information! Then you remember he is only this little thing that doesn't realise that the arm he just bopped himself on the nose with is actually attached to him, he just has no control over it. He really has pretty simple needs and simple things will help him.
Whatever E and I are doing, JJ is thriving physically. As he reaches 4 weeks/1 month of age (already!) he is now tipping the scales (and peeing on them at our last visit to the midwives) at 10 lbs, 12 oz! He's outgrowing clothes, getting longer and stronger.
For now, we'll keep reading and asking our questions. Everyday seems a little bit easier and we have a little more confidence. Maybe we are being too hard on ourselves to be perfect parents. In the end, we'll find out what works best for the three of us.
After all, humans have been successfully having kids for a while now and the internet wasn't that good pre-1995! I understand people used "books" from a "library" or spoke to people "in person" or just went with their intuition. Imagine...
As a result of a tricky growth spurt phase, E and I have been making use of a number of resources related to newborns. We are very fortunate to have our caregivers following up for 6 weeks postpartum, access to a Public Health Breast Feeding Buddy and their Babytalk line, friends who have recently had kids and of course Family. We're also reading various books and websites. Trouble is, sometimes (well a lot of the time) I've been getting confused from one source to the next. What is normal, what to expect (it seems the unexpected is what you should expect), what we "should" be doing...
As a scientist at heart I'm trying to get to the bottom of this newborn raising lark. I'm starting to realise that that won't happen. There isn't a set answer or way of doing things. We can go by our instincts or by what a book says but there is nothing like talking to someone and hearing that everything is fine and normal. So far we've realised that we are falling into a few "Accidental Parenting" traps (as one book labels them) and it is best to deal with these earlier rather than later.
For example, we needed a few closet door handles to match what we already have (I've mentioned we're kind of perfectionists haven't I?). The nearest place that stocked them was 45 mins away so off we went with JJ in tow one Saturday afternoon. He let us know by the time we got home that he didn't really care if the handles on his closet matched the ones in the rest of the house!
We're trying out a few things and seem to be getting results. We like the approach a particular book uses, its logical to us and sets up some basics that we can use daily - wash, rinse and repeat if you will. It is appealing to the science/critical thinking side of our nature and we'll see how we go.
Of course at 3am when JJ won't settle after a long feed and I can't remember what I should be doing and where I read it I get a bit frustrated. Too much information! Then you remember he is only this little thing that doesn't realise that the arm he just bopped himself on the nose with is actually attached to him, he just has no control over it. He really has pretty simple needs and simple things will help him.
Whatever E and I are doing, JJ is thriving physically. As he reaches 4 weeks/1 month of age (already!) he is now tipping the scales (and peeing on them at our last visit to the midwives) at 10 lbs, 12 oz! He's outgrowing clothes, getting longer and stronger.
For now, we'll keep reading and asking our questions. Everyday seems a little bit easier and we have a little more confidence. Maybe we are being too hard on ourselves to be perfect parents. In the end, we'll find out what works best for the three of us.
After all, humans have been successfully having kids for a while now and the internet wasn't that good pre-1995! I understand people used "books" from a "library" or spoke to people "in person" or just went with their intuition. Imagine...
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Our little feeding machine
JJ may be the smallest member of our household (both cats have him beat by a couple of pounds) but he is feeding like I would at a $5 all you can eat 24 hour buffet! We're going to try and weight him using Wii Fit tomorrow. While we're at it we'll weight the cats too! Maybe I'll add the numbers to that Excel file I'm working on...
He is presumably going through his 3 week growth spurt (after all, three weeks ago exactly E was resting before the final push) but it is bordering on the ridiculous. No sooner has E stopped feeding him then he is rooting around for more. We both know this is only temporary but it doesn't stop me from feeling pretty useless when I hold him and all he wants is more milk.
He has currently mastered 4 activities:
1) eat
2) pee/poop (so he has more room to eat)
3) sleep (so he is rested enough to eat) and
4) dream (about eating)
At least I can help with number 2 (pun intended). It's actually impressive how much exertion he puts into removing waste from his body. He's going to strain something one day.... You can tell what he is up to from a few rooms away. He also has impeccable timing, he knows exactly when I'm just about done and he decides that he isn't. Our record so far is 4 diapers for one change! My changes are far from the rapid efficiency of a Formula 1 pit crew that I am striving for. Currently, I'm happy if he doesn't pee partway through and I don't have to change his clothes.
Thankfully, the feeding machine shuts down for a few hours overnight (except for one night when bedtime ended up being 6am) so E can get some rest. Our bodies are definitely adapting to less sleep and neither of us has had the need for IV caffeine (yet), in fact I think I'm drinking less than before. An afternoon coffee just makes me groggy in the evening. Of course the special kind of groggy that a beer or glass of wine brings of an evening is a different matter. How E is surviving is beyond me - well actually it isn't, she is eating well, trying to get out every day, meeting up with friends/family and she has found a whole new level of zen-like patience. Getting to have a shower everyday seems to help too.
On the flip side to the feeding frenzy, E and I have still been able to enjoy some of favourite things. Coffee and the paper on Saturday morning, a freshly prepared dinner eaten together at the table, popping out to the shops - things we took for granted before but cherish now. We can see how we'll be able to have time for each other and to ourselves in the not too distant future - something that will save our sanity I'm sure.
We are also looking forward to JJ being more interactive and, dare I say it, more lovable. Obviously we both love our cute, hairy, robust little feeding machine but at such a young age he isn't yet that little person that I imagined. He is happy so long as his basic needs are being met (no matter how regularly) but I can't wait to see him grow into his own little man (and not just so I can dress him in cargos, cool t-shirts and hoodies).
There may be a silver lining to the growth spurt, apparently once JJ hits about 11 lbs his stomach can hold enough milk to allow him to sleep for 4 hours! We'll see...
He is presumably going through his 3 week growth spurt (after all, three weeks ago exactly E was resting before the final push) but it is bordering on the ridiculous. No sooner has E stopped feeding him then he is rooting around for more. We both know this is only temporary but it doesn't stop me from feeling pretty useless when I hold him and all he wants is more milk.
He has currently mastered 4 activities:
1) eat
2) pee/poop (so he has more room to eat)
3) sleep (so he is rested enough to eat) and
4) dream (about eating)
At least I can help with number 2 (pun intended). It's actually impressive how much exertion he puts into removing waste from his body. He's going to strain something one day.... You can tell what he is up to from a few rooms away. He also has impeccable timing, he knows exactly when I'm just about done and he decides that he isn't. Our record so far is 4 diapers for one change! My changes are far from the rapid efficiency of a Formula 1 pit crew that I am striving for. Currently, I'm happy if he doesn't pee partway through and I don't have to change his clothes.
Thankfully, the feeding machine shuts down for a few hours overnight (except for one night when bedtime ended up being 6am) so E can get some rest. Our bodies are definitely adapting to less sleep and neither of us has had the need for IV caffeine (yet), in fact I think I'm drinking less than before. An afternoon coffee just makes me groggy in the evening. Of course the special kind of groggy that a beer or glass of wine brings of an evening is a different matter. How E is surviving is beyond me - well actually it isn't, she is eating well, trying to get out every day, meeting up with friends/family and she has found a whole new level of zen-like patience. Getting to have a shower everyday seems to help too.
On the flip side to the feeding frenzy, E and I have still been able to enjoy some of favourite things. Coffee and the paper on Saturday morning, a freshly prepared dinner eaten together at the table, popping out to the shops - things we took for granted before but cherish now. We can see how we'll be able to have time for each other and to ourselves in the not too distant future - something that will save our sanity I'm sure.
We are also looking forward to JJ being more interactive and, dare I say it, more lovable. Obviously we both love our cute, hairy, robust little feeding machine but at such a young age he isn't yet that little person that I imagined. He is happy so long as his basic needs are being met (no matter how regularly) but I can't wait to see him grow into his own little man (and not just so I can dress him in cargos, cool t-shirts and hoodies).
There may be a silver lining to the growth spurt, apparently once JJ hits about 11 lbs his stomach can hold enough milk to allow him to sleep for 4 hours! We'll see...
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